I've been doing a lot of sweating, I'm keeping myself busy and exercising like crazy.
The tears have come, that only helps for a little while.
Maybe it's time for the sea...
I'm sad. I am feeling sad and I hate it.
I dislike negative emotions and I am not patient with myself when I feel them.
I thought I found a good thing and then I realized it wasn't as good as I'd hoped.
I'm a sucker for potential. If you have potential come see me, I'm your girl. I will hope,
I will be patient, I will put up with things that most wouldn't for longer than I should.
But you, well you get exactly what you need. Someone to be there for your convenience.
You say things but your actions dictate something else.
Oh boys, these damn boys!
And then come the magic words... can we still be friends? No! No we cannot!
That just keeps me around for your convenience, once again.
I hate dating... it bites.
Going through the same motions, same questions date after date. It's exhausting.
I'm discovering that there are too many 30-something males
with no motivation or no goals.
Then there are the 30-something males who supposedly want a relationship
but are so terrified that they sabotage it because of their fear.
They wrap themselves up in money and work and miss the very
good thing standing right in front of them.
But hey, maybe it's just me and I'm not the right one for you.
That's OK, just tell me and don't drag it on for months on end.
I have no intention of settling, ever.
If it isn't working for me, I'm done.
I'm not desperate, I won't stay with someone just to have someone in my life.
But guess what? I would love to have someone to go on adventures with,
to hang out with at night whether you're doing laundry or to watch a movie.
To have someone to confide in, to have fun with and enjoy this very short life with.
Sorry for the rant. I am feeling defeated. Work has been stressful as well and things
just seem to be really hard right now.
I do try to remember the wonderful things I have in my life, because I have so many.
I have the best family and friends who have been keeping me busy
and I do my best not to dwell on my disasters.
I've had dinner with friends, good chats, gone dancing, hiking, camping,
running, spent time with my kids and listened to music...
All things I love and am so thankful for.
I know this is just a season, everything changes. Thank goodness!
Now, if I can get myself to the sea in the meantime... I might just be alright. :)
