The New Year

I can't believe it is the last day of 2009. This year has gone by so fast, I don't think I was able to keep up with it. It was a really good year. I was able to quit my job, go back to school full-time, we purchased a more economically-sized car, I rode my bike (a lot), I turned 29 holy crap I'm almost thirty years old, luckily enough Davey turned I'll always be older than you 31, I canned my first batch of jam ever, went to California (twice), and last but not least we discovered we will be welcoming a baby boy come spring. I'm sure there was much more that happened but those things stand out to me at the moment.

I'm excited for what is to come in 2010, as usual, no resolutions for me. We have our 7th anniversary in February, baby due in April (please let me make it through the next semester?!), a summer off to recover, a 30th birthday for me which will be awesome, my baby girl turning 5, and who knows what else!

I know I would like to simplify life a bit, lower our expenses, and not be so caught up in what is new and desirable in the world. I want to read more books, be content with what my body ends up like after baby #2, be healthy, and enjoy life.

Here's to a new and wonderful 2010!

"Let nothing perturb you, nothing frighten you. All things pass. God does not change. Patience achieves everything."
~Mother Teresa

One of my Favorites

I have a recommendation. This is my all-time favorite Christmas book. This was the book Adelaide wanted me to read to her before bed tonight. I cried. I cry every time I read it.
It's the sweetest, most touching story about the true meaning of Christmas from the eyes of of a child.

I love it. Love it love it love it.

Gratitude

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." - Buddha

Sometimes when I pray at night, I thank the Lord for everything. I thank him for my arms, legs, eyes, toes, sense of taste, and sight. I thank him for my mistakes, the lessons learned, and the lessons I have yet to learn. I thank him for my family, the members I have now and the ones yet to come. I thank him for the snow I dread so much as well as the warm sun in the sky. I thank him for a place to lay my head at night and a school I learn in by day. I thank him for my health and the health of my family. I try to think of everything.

Lately I've been feeling not just thankful, but grateful. I have such gratitude in my heart that it is overflowing. The blessings that I have been given are immense and innumerable and number more than the stars I'm sure. My life is great and it will continue to be great, no matter what comes my way.

I am so grateful for the life I have been given and the opportunities that I have to make life what I want it to be. I hope that everyone can feel as blessed and grateful as I do, because we have all been given so much.

~I wish to everyone a happy Thanksgiving ~

The Ladybug

One day last week, Adelaide told me that she found a ladybug. It was sitting in the lid of a shoebox, just sitting there on the coffee table. I thought it was dead because it hadn't moved a bit and she was kind of squishing it. It was time for her nap and she really, really wanted to snuggle it. So I, figuring it was dead, said ok.

She took it with her and set the shoebox lid on the pillow next to her. A few hours later I went in to see if she was awake. She was, but I couldn't find where the lid or the ladybug had gone to. I finally found the lid wrapped up in her blanket, but no ladybug. So I helped her out of bed and sure enough, there was the ladybug. But it wasn't dead, it was crawling all over the sheets where she had been laying.

I'm glad the ladybug wasn't dead, so was she.

Too Long

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted. Don't worry it's for a good reason and hopefully I'll get back to it soon. But in the meantime, I have a horrible headache that just won't quit. That's not very uplifting, but hopefully the way I feel when it's gone will be.

4 Years

4 years ago this Tuesday I had the blessing of bringing my little Adelaide into the world. She is such an amazing girl, I can't believe how much she knows and how much she can do now. She has the funniest personality and is so independent. I really can't imagine my life without her and I am so thankful for her every day. Thanks to everyone who came to her party to aid in her being spoiled rotten. It was a great day.

Happy Birthday baby girl.

Hugs Anyone?

We watched this in my Positive Psych class today.

Love it. A lot.



For more info on this guy go to freehugscampaign.org

9-11-2001

Do you remember what you were doing on that day? I remember it so vividly it's like it was yesterday.

I was living at my grandparents house in North Ogden, attending school at Weber State. I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed. I always watched the news when I got ready in the morning. I was running late for school so I didn't really pay attention to what was on the tv. But then I heard something that sounded like panic, so I decided to sit and see what was going on. Just as I sat down on the bed, I saw the second plane crash into the tower. It was the the most awful/perfect timing ever. I couldn't believe what was happening before my eyes.

I ran into my grandparents room to tell them to turn on the tv. We sat in absolute astonishment for a few minutes without knowing quite what to say. Then I had to go to school.

When I arrived at each and every class that day, my teachers either canceled class so we could mourn in private, or we held a discussion on what and why we thought it happened.

I remember crying for those people, crying for their loved ones, and crying for America. I didn't know anyone that was involved but I sure felt like I did. I was amazed that I had witnessed such an insane tragedy. That's all I remember thinking, "this is completely insane."

To this day I don't understand it, I don't think I ever will. I just pray that those families have found peace and forgiveness in their hearts. It is certainly a tragedy that will live in my heart forever. God bless us all.

Her Love for 'Hees'

She still loves horses so much. She was able to ride one on Tuesday (thanks Eric and Jackie). She is in pure heaven when she's around them. What am I going to do when she gets older and wants one of her own? I hope she's ok with riding someone else's horse every once in a while. It's so much fun to see her get excited over something she loves.

Kids have such a wonderful way of seeing the world through their own reality. It's a really great reality. They have a dream and there's no limit to them being able to achieve it. They still believe that anything can happen and they can become anyone they want to be. I've learned that parents "squash" the joy in their children sometimes. I realize there are moments when I do it too. Why do I do it? No reason really.

Why can't they play in the mud? Why can't they color on their arms? Why can't they eat a huge doughnut with sprinkles every morning for breakfast? Why can't they be kids?
I'm trying to relax and let her be. If she gets dirty, who cares? If she wants to wear her shabby princess dress to the store, why not? If she doesn't want me to do her hair, it's ok.

Innocence gets lost as you get older. I'm going to try and let her hang on to hers as long as possible. Let her be who she wants to be. Let her live all of her dreams and hopefully she can continue to keep them in view as she gets older. I hope she wants to wear her shabby princess dress to the store when she's 30. I hope she loves it and doesn't care what anyone else is thinking. I hope she gets her pink horse with a blue saddle. There has to be one out there somewhere, right? I want her to know that there isn't anything she can't do.

She can be anything she wants to be.

A Poem

THE JOURNEY

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.

-Mary Oliver

A 'Berry' Good Morning

Adelaide and I spent Saturday morning picking raspberries. It was such a perfect morning to be outside.

We each carried a bucket around our waste and tried to put more berries in the bucket than in our mouths. They were so good.

There's something about being out in the country. Nothing but the sound of distant trains, bees pollinating, and you pulling apart branches to pull off the juicy, red berries. Perfect.

McBride Briar Patch
(They have blackberries too)
1849 S 2100 W
Mapleton
801-367-0755

Summer Driving

This is my interpretation of traffic during rush hour in Utah (click to enlarge). It's absolutely ridiculous. Driving home from Ogden yesterday made me want to rip my hair out. I apologize if you were on the road with me around 5:20 pm in American Fork. You may have heard me screaming through my car windows. Why is it that when there's an accident people have to slow down to 25 mph and look? Don't they realize that's creating another road hazard?

And then, when you have passed the construction zone, everyone else in every lane continues to putt-putt at 55-60 mph instead of speeding back up. They especially like to drive like I've illustrated above, perfectly spaced so you don't have a chance to pass, all going the same speed. It's like everyone is completely oblivious to the cars/speed limit around them. It absolutely amazes me. I'd rather drive in California rush hour traffic. At least everyone flows together and moves over when you're trying to pass.

Oh, and don't forget people cutting you off when you're in the carpool lane because they cross the double lines to pass people in the fast lane when they aren't even carpooling, then cross the lines again to get back in the fast lane. Oooh, I could go on and on. But I won't, I'm done, I've vented.

I feel much better now.

Summer's End

We didn't do it on purpose, but I suppose we celebrated the end of summer this weekend. I just realized that I go back to school on Thursday. I'm super-excited however, I know 80+ degree days are nearing an end. I love fall, but after fall comes winter. Bleh.

In the meantime, we went to Deer Creek on Saturday. We've never been there and we wanted to take the raft out for a float. So, Deer Creek it was.

It was a beautiful, not-too-hot sort of day. A bit windy, but beautiful none-the-less. Actually, I have to admit that my favorite part is laying in the sun. Hanging in the raft is fun but, it's really just a good excuse to soak in some rays.


We'll get a few more weekends like this, right? Please say yes.

25's

Just recently, I wrote about my new-found love of bike riding. I now have a new-found love for riding to the store. As most in the area know, Wednesday is produce day at Buy Low Market. I wish I could afford the ever-so-good-for-you organic fruits and veggies these days, but have you seen how expensive organic produce is? I just can't do it, I wish I could, but I can't.

So, in rolls Buy Low with their most outrageously cheap (and decent) produce to draw a crowd as big as Christmas Eve at Walmart. I went at lunch time once and vowed to never go at that time again, it was insanity. Today I decided to hit it early. I hopped on my bike at 9 and arrived only 25 minutes later. That's only ten minutes longer than it takes to drive. I must also declare my love for the Provo River Trail. It cuts across so many busy streets and stoplights that it turns out to be a pretty quick trip.

I was only in the store 25 minutes. I stuck to my list, got all the peaches, spinach, blueberries, juice, milk, mushrooms, carrots, cabbage, and avocados a girl could desire.

$11.

That's all it was for all of that lovely, delicious, producey goodness.

I was so happy on the way home (once again, only 25 minutes). Exercise, fresh air, sunshine, cheap transportation, and only $11 in groceries.

That totally rocks.

Thumbs Up

I don't post regularly about the movies I see, however, I just watched this and it was amazing, so I had to. It came out a couple of years ago and I've been meaning to see it ever since. I wish I would have watched it sooner. I love movies with wonderful life-messages. This one had one for sure. It also stars Claire Danes who happens to be my favorite actress. It brings great perspective to relationships, romantic and family, as well to the fact that we don't make mistakes, they're just lessons we learn. Loved it, loved it, loved it!

Mini-Fighter

Adelaide's uncle Rick is a firefighter. Thanks to him, she was able to participate in the kids combat challenge this weekend in Idaho Falls. She was so excited to dress the part and run the obstacles.

It's fun to see what excites her and how willing she is to try new things. I hope she stays this way throughout her life. She'll do anything and I love it. However... try telling her she's still too little to go on the big rollercoasters at Lagoon and see how she reacts.
It's not pretty people, it's not pretty.

3 Weeks

3 Weeks until school starts. Sweet.
Would you like a rundown of my classes? No?
Here it is anyway:

Sociology
Social/Cultural Anthropology
Positive Psychology
Abnormal Psychology

Some may look at this list and think, "yuck".
I look at this and think, "finally, I get to take classes that actually interest me".

Bring it on...

Lovin' It

I am absolutely loving my bike this year. I've never really been a bike rider in my life until the last couple of years. We've gone on a good, long ride at least twice a week so far this summer and I love it! It's nice to remember that there are other options for transportation besides a car.

One of my favorite gifts for my birthday was my comfy bike shorts, a new kooshy seat (had to get a new one because the bike accident wrecked my old one), and a rack with baskets so I can ride to the store. The baskets even fold in so when I'm not using them they don't stick out. It only takes about 20 minutes for me to ride to Macey's on the Provo River Trail. It's awesome when I only need a few things. I love not feeling like I have to drive. I hate driving, I hate buying gas, and I love that I can save the environment from a little bit of exhaust while getting a bit of exercise at the same time.

I don't really see anything bad about it at all, really.

I'm already looking for excuses to escape our upcoming winter to head south so I don't have to miss too much riding this winter.

Here's to the invention of the bicycle, here's to a healthy body that can ride a bicycle, here's to getting outside, soaking in some sun, getting some exercise, and loving every minute of it.

Cheers to Another Year

29

Today was the day.
I'm breathing really deep right now.
It was a really great birthday.
I love summer days.
I'm on my way out of one decade.
One that holds so many memories.
I'm on my way into another.
Many more memories to come.
Here's to the future...

The Happiest Girl

&

The Fray,

last night.
It was an amazing show.
Now I'm the happiest girl.
Have I mentioned how much I love live music?
Sooooo much.

The Dance

Did anyone else catch this dance last night? So You Think You Can Dance brings out some of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Some not so much, but this one falls under amazing for sure. It's crazy how some choreography (brought to you buy fabulous dancers) can make you feel such emotion.

Being able to perform a dance like that makes me wish I was up there. Seriously.

3 Years Long

My uncle was called as a mission president three years ago to Nebraska. Their family is finally home. This is the view from their house. I've missed this view. It's good to have them home.

A Night in July

18 days left until my birthday. One thing I love about my birthday is that it happens to be in July. I cannot even begin to convey how much I love July. July is hot, sunny, and the nights are gorgeous.

Tonight is no exception. I walked outside tonight to take a look at the moon, I was not disappointed. It is so full and bright that it lights the entire sky, not to mention that the temperature is perfect as well.

July is perfect, the weather is perfect, and on the 25th my birthday will be perfect. It can be nothing but, especially because this will be the last year I enjoy my twenties. I must make it the best it can possibly be.

Hello moon, hello summer, hello happy me.

Reflections on the 4th

Last night as I was watching some amazing fireworks, the song "God Bless the USA" began to echo throughout the stadium. There is something about that song that gets me feeling a bit emotional every time. I remember singing it way back in elementary school and the words stick with me today:

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I won't forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

I truly am so thankful to live in this country and to have the privilege to have the freedoms that I have. There is so much unrest in the world. I thank my lucky starts that I don't have to worry about bombs going off in the middle of my street, or whether or not someone with explosives strapped to their body walks into the restaurant I'm eating in. I'm thankful that I can go to sleep at night and not worry about whether or not my family will be able to survive another day.

There have been so many who have sacrificed their lives, families, and all that they have, to provide us with this freedom and I thank you sincerely.

Happy birthday America.

Dress Up

She loves to put on my clothes, usually my bras and my pajamas. She looks cuter in them than I do.

What???

There has been one too many deaths this week. First Ed McMahon, then our bunny Bruce, then Farrah Fawcett, now Michael Jackson.

I didn't get choked up over Ed, though I'm sure he led a wonderful life. Bruce broke my heart, he passed away yesterday and we're not quite sure why. He was only six months old. We all knew it was coming with Farrah's aggressive cancer, though it always seems like a surprise.

But Michael Jackson? It seems so surreal to me. I like to think that the feelings I have over his passing are how people felt after Elvis died. Yes, in most recent years he has acted like a nut-ball and there had to be something koo-koo going on in his head...BUT, he was one of the most talented people EVER in my lifetime. Some may not agree with me but he has written some of the greatest songs (Thriller, Billie Jean) and is one of the best dancers IN THE WORLD.
There are few who can move like Michael.

One of my earliest memories is dancing my little heart out in our living room while watching his videos on MTV. I do know every move to Billie Jean and almost every move to Thriller. I would try to mimic him for hours at a time.

It's an end of an era for four memorable people/animals in my life. Michael, your artistic influence will be forever felt. Bruce, we will miss your fluffy, adorable bunny butt. Ed and Farrah, rest in peace.

God bless their families and loved ones.

Why Hike the Y?

We hiked the Y yesterday. Every time I do that hike I ask myself 'why'? Why do I do it? It's hot, it's steep, and Adelaide wants to be carried almost all of the way.

But, I do have to say that once you get to the top it reveals itself as rewarding. It's kind of like every time I hike to the top of Mt. Timpanogos I ask myself why I did it, then I get to the top and it's absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad I made it.


I didn't want to drag the camera up with me so I only took a picture from the parking lot. It is a beautiful view.


I totally enjoy working at something that takes time and energy. The feeling you get after your done is so worth it.

A Day Late...

Yesterday was a crazy-busy day so I wasn't able to give props to two fabulous dads.


Thanks daddy for wanting to be there for me from the beginning. Thank you for making me your own. Thank you for letting me know you always love me. Thank you for being there when I need you.

Thanks Davey for being such a great dad to our daughter. Thank you for the time you give her. Thank you for the affection you show her. Thank you for always being there when she needs you.

Happy Father's Day!

Feeling Better

I'm finally feeling better. Now if the weather would improve a bit that would be nice. Adelaide and I have a 'staycation' planned with my family this week. It should be fun.

It's nice to feel healthy. I don't take it for granted, not one little bit.

Tired of it Much!

So, something I ate had me staying up all night with another stomach ache. This was not food poisoning this time, it was something that didn't agree with my lack of a gallbladder...again.
I am about dang sick and tired of this. I have vowed to start a food diary to see if I can find the culprit. This is what I had for dinner last night:

Hamburger soup (with lean burger and lots of veggies)
A small 9 grain roll with a tad bit of butter
A half cup of ice cream with an oatmeal cookie and half a banana

Does this sound like a meal that would make your belly hurt? I don't think so. I think it's either the fat/lactose in the ice cream or maybe the lean burger doesn't work for me, even if it is lean.
Like in a previous post, I said that I don't eat much red meat. Well, I've been eating a bit more lately because I wanted to try this grass-fed, hormone- free stuff. I won't be buying it again.

I believe that due to the increase of sleepless nights, I am now sick with a cold-type-thing.
I'm sick of it people!

I used to be so healthy and then I had a child. It's been downhill from there. I love her so much and I wouldn't send her back for the world, but it ruined me physically, I swear it.

Now on to something else. The No Quarter show on Saturday was awesome! We had a great time, my dad and his cousin John even joined us this time. We even stayed after to talk to the band for a bit. They were pretty cool guys.

Next up: The Fray and Jack's Mannequin. Sweet.

Summer+Music=Love

4 Reasons I am stoked for this summer:

No Quarter (Led Zeppelin tribute)
The Fray with Jack's Mannequin
Kenny Chesney
The Killers

It's gonna be good.

Icky Sicky

There is nothing I hate more than food poisoning. Why don't I listen to the little voice in my head that warns me against fast food hamburger places? My first real experience with it was when I was pregnant with Adelaide and I was seriously craving a crispy chicken sandwich from McDonald's. When you are pregnant and craving something you absolutely have to have it right? Well I got it and boy did I regret it later that evening. I puked my guts out for a full day. This was on top of the morning sickness to make it even more un-enjoyable.


Then there was Wednesday night. My dad stopped by and offered to take us to Wendy's. I can't turn down dinner with my dad! I don't eat red meat very often but sometimes I really want it. So I got a hamburger. I thought I did really well because I left off the cheese and I got a salad instead of fries. Well, I was up all night with the most wretched stomach ache and nausea. The worst part is that I had to make myself throw up to get some relief. It just wanted to hang out in there and have fun, and I wasn't having any of it. Sorry for the info but it was terrible! At first I thought it was my weird, post-gallbladder stomach causing me issues. But then I realized I had a homemade burger a week ago and I was just fine. Homemade being the key word.

Then I got thinking, do you ever check out what it is you're throwing up when it comes out? Is that gross or what? Well, I do, I want to know what it is that caused the problem. I found that there was a common denominator in both of these cases. Lettuce. Freaking lettuce. It makes me wonder, are they not washing their hands or are they not washing the lettuce? Either way it grosses me out. I have not eaten at a McDonald's for almost four years now and I'm afraid that Wendy's is now on the 'do not eat' list.

Sorry nasty burger joints, you have thoroughly ruined what small interest I had in eating at your establishments. Goodbye, and good luck.

So This Is It...

Isn't it funny how things can change in fifteen months? I wrote this last year, so happy that I got a job when I needed one so badly.

Now, here I am today, it's my last day of work.

Life has taken yet another turn so I won't be working anymore. I am taking a month off then I'm going back to school. More than one class a semester that is.

I like to ponder about life which brought me to thinking about how I got to this point and where I came from. Last February we needed the extra money, and I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to go in school. So a job I got and I decided I would take a class here and there until I figured out what I wanted to do. It was a double bonus working at the school because they would pay for it.

Now I know what degree I want to persue and I have to give credit to working in the Career Services office for helping me figure it out. I took the MBTI test and had it analyzed last year. It made me realize that it is possible to combine your interests and find a career that involves more than the common careers you usually think of. Also, everyone in my office is so education driven that it becomes infectious.

Now what will happen in the next fifteen months? I have no idea. I have the goal to finish my degree and spend more time with my family which I have missed since I started working. Sometimes I wonder if Adelaide remembers she has a mommy. I need to get back in shape after my surgery, I started doing yoga again this week and man am I sore. Also, I keep hoping another baby is in our future but sometimes it seems so impossible after what we've been through. I am completely frightened to tell you the truth.

I really do love and embrace change which gets me excited to see what the future holds. Seriously. Scared...but excited.

Aything can happen you know, anything.

Kickin' Back

This is what I did today. All day. Just kidding. This is what I did after going to work, getting Adelaide down for a nap, partially mowing and trimming the front lawn, spreading nine bags of soil pep, pulling weeds, cleaning the sink, mirror, and toilet in the bathroom, and all this before I started dinner. Ahhhhh, it feels good.

I am about as pooped as can be at the moment but man, it feels good to be this productive. It's so easy for me to feel this way when the weather is nice. I don't know what it is but it's like I'm a whole new woman. I am awake, energized, motivated, and excited to get things done.

So after my chores, I sat at our table on the patio with my ipod playing some of my favorite tunes (Ryan Adams), soaking in the perfectly lovely sunshine. What I loved the most was that it was just warm enough with the cool breeze. Warm enough that I wasn't sitting there sweating through my clothes. It was just right.

It was a fabulous day.

28 3/4 Years Ago...

... a brave seventeen year old girl brought me into this world. That would be the day I am most thankful for in this entire world. Thankful because she decided to keep me and sacrificed so much to give me everything that she could. Thankful for wonderful grandparents who were there for her and me every step of the way. Thankful because she helped me become the person I am today.

(Picture taken on Mother's Day approximately 25 years ago)

Some other great mothers in my life:
My sister Anna, aunt Heidi, great grandma Loh,
and not pictured, my grandma Liechty and grandma Price.

I love you mom.
Happy Mother's Day.

Tis the Season

I can't tell you how stoked I am right now.
I bought these little lovelies today.
That would be three strawberry plants and one tomato.
I have seeds for green beans and basil.
I am going to the nursery tomorrow to find some
decent yellow squash and zucchini.
I ordered some yellow raspberries online.
I am anxiously awaiting their arrival.
Then I will get my planting on.
I can't wait for the bounty that is only a couple of months away.

I love helping things grow.
Especially when it's good for you and you get to
put it in your tummy.

Finito

I took my final and I am done for the semester. I don't have another class until June. My brain is breathing a sigh of relief. It feels great. Especially because I'm pretty sure I pulled an A.

Now I can catch up on reading books I enjoy.

This girl...

I love this girl so much. I love how much she loves horses and her cowgirl hat. I love how much she loves me. I love how smart she is. I love her beautiful face. I love her independence. I love it when she sings. I love that she loves to snuggle me. I love her innocence. I love that she loves to help me. I love that she still wants me to help her.
I love being a mom.

Moo-Lah

I have to admit... I've been looking for ways to make more of this.

Now, I will tell you that I don't want to make it easy or quick
(been there, tried that).

I am willing to work, and to work hard.

I have been trying to come up with ideas.
I have my mom and sister working on it
because it would be fun to make it a family affair.
What talents do we have, what do we like to do?
It seems like people can make, create, or concoct
anything these days and make it work for them.
Even in the poor, struggling economy people are selling
their gadgets, goods, and crafts and loving it.
I want to do that but I want to be different (go figure).
I don't want to run another cupcake shop or make bows
for my daughters hair. Too many have taken those avenues.
What else can there be? There has to be something I can offer.
I want to offer something, but what?

Think, think, think, says Winnie the Pooh.
Clink, clink, clink, says the ghost of change in my pocket.

Happy Easter

It was a beautiful day.

Can You Smell It?

It's opening day. Baseball is here and I am so happy. There's nothing that screams summer more than a hot July night, eating a hot dog and watching the game.

I'm going to go ahead and say good luck A's. I'm thinking positive so we can have a good year. I try and send my good karma your way every year but you just can't quite get there. This could be it this time, couldn't it? Of course it can be.

Summer here I come. But can I eat a hot dog? Dang it, I guess we'll have to see.

Surgery Update

Long story short:

I am bloated, I can't wear a bra, my pants won't button and I can feel the air inside my chest and abdominal cavities moving in between my organs.

It has now been a week and I am finally starting to feel relief. There is not as much air as there was initially. I can actually breath without it hurting my heart and lungs. I can finally go from laying down to sitting up and vice versa in less than five minutes. My stomach is sore but I don't have to take ibuprofen anymore. (P.S. I didn't have to use any pain killers other than ibuprofen, that rocks).

I can take the surgical tape off my incisions in a couple of days and I go in for a follow-up with my doctor on Thursday.

Good news:

So far everything I have eaten has been good to me. I had a little grumbliness after I ate an enchilada (fabulous recipe Erica) but other than that I'm handling food well. I have been so scared to try new foods though, I am terrified of it hurting again! I keep wondering in the back of my mind if it was really my gallbladder or not. So far I think we were right.

Thanks to everyone who brought food, I really appreciate it. It was so nice not to have to worry about cooking or wondering what we would have for dinner!

Cheers to no gallbladder!

The Day Has Come

This is what I will be having done tomorrow morning. It doesn't look pretty does it? I am within 13 hours of being one organ less and I am not thrilled in the least.

Well what do I say? I am praying and hoping for the best surgery possible. I am also praying that the surgeon will do a fabulous and proper job. I am then praying for a quick and painless recovery. Now I know painless isn't really possible so maybe I'll pray for the smallest amount of pain possible. Yes, that will work.

They say that this is the most routine surgery and I know my surgeon has had LOTS of practice, so that's nice. But on the other hand, he hasn't had a lot of practice on me and everyone's body is different. At least they're mostly the same.

Then I keep wondering, what does my body do after the gallbladder is gone? How does it compensate and prove functional without one? I'm sure it will figure it out, but still I wonder. I know many who have had this surgery and they turn out just fine.

I must also say goodbye to yummy foods like fish and chips, deep fried mushrooms and zucchini fries from the Mad Greek. Do you know if you eat fatty, greasy foods after your gallbladder is removed you will get the runs? So what do I choose? The runs or missing out on some of my favorites, think think think. I do not choose the runs. The nice thing is that I don't eat that kind of food very often so it shouldn't be too hard to say goodbye.

So this is it. My formal goodbye to my gallbladder. You have been great for 28 short years but you are causing me too much pain for us to be together any more. I must let you go and learn to live without you. This will not be easy but it will be worth it (I hope). I am tired of the stomach aches and pain that encompasses my mid-section after we rendezvous. I have loved our relationship up until the last few months but now you must leave me.

I must say goodbye now, goodbye.

An Answer

Thanks for the sunshine today :)

Gloom

This weather is killing me. We missed the sunshine here while we were gone. I seem to be going through vitamin D withdrawls since leaving California. I can't get warm and my hands are always like icicles. I shook someone's hand at work today and I was so embarrassed because I knew my hand was so cold!

I can't get any yard work done which isn't good because it needs some cleaning up in a bad way.
I probably won't be able to do it for a while either because I am having my gallbladder removed on Monday. That means at least another week of no green-thumbing it.

I have a test on Friday, a research project to get together in the next two weeks, I need to be a mom and wife, and last but not least it is time to get my blood drawn again.

I feel a bit down, a bit swamped, a bit tired, and a bit sick of feeling sick.

Now that I am done whining, I will again ask for some sunshine. That is the thing I need to perk me up so come on, let's see it!

...And We're Back

We got home on Sunday night but I have yet to spare a second to blog. We had a good trip and it was nice to escape for a little while. I will post more about it later (including a picture).

And We're Off...Again

Yes I know we just went to California and Disneyland in October. But...we're going again. What can you do when your in-laws who live in Maine come as close to you as California? You must go there too. It's much cheaper than going to Maine, except maybe when you add in Disneyland. But there's no Disneyland in Maine people!
So there you go.

I'm am excited as can be. There's something about the southwest coast. I am in love with it and it gets my adrenaline pumping. So for now I say adios and have a good week. I will be enjoying 90 degrees in La Quinta on Thursday.

That brothers and sisters, is my heaven.

Heartbreaking

I just found this story on my friend Courtney's blog so I thought I would check it out. I have now been sobbing for the last 30 minutes. This is one of the most incredible struggles I can imagine going through. My heart is breaking for their family and the loss of their child. My heart is breaking for the poor baby girl that had to endure such a trial. I pray that I may never have to endure such heartache and pain. I can barely see the screen through my tears as I write this, I can barely see. I wish them the best and peace and comfort, but she is in a better place now, a much better place...

I am a Wuss

So, here is my confession.
Nearly two days into my cleanse and I called it quits.

People who know me, and if I know myself, know that giving up goes against every grain in my body. I finish what I start. I make a goal and I accomplish it.

Not this my peeps, not this.
I came home from work today an absolute wreck. I am moody, tired, hungry and most of all miserable. I decided that for the sake of my health (minus the gallbladder) and my family's sanity that I needed to call it quits.

I consulted a few close family members and myself and felt that it was in my best interest to discontinue the cleanse and eat some protein.

I ate a nice Philly steak sandwich for dinner and it felt fabulous until...
about a half hour later my stomach began to ache and hurt as it did before. Man this is getting old.

I suppose by making this decision I accept the fact that surgery is in my future. But, I think it will be ok. It has to be right?

I'm Going to Hate Apples

For about the past 6 or 7 weeks I have been experiencing super-bad stomach aches after I eat. I went to the doctor 3 weeks ago and she thought I had ulcers. I went on ulcer meds for about two weeks and it didn't help one bit. Her next idea is that it's my gallbladder. Now, I was tested about three years ago for gallstones and there were none. There was some stuff in there they called "sludge" but nothing that I wanted to get my gallbladder yanked out for. I just dealt with the pain for a while and it eventually went away. Now here I am three years later, same pains, same insane discomfort (but maybe way worse). I went in for an ultrasound today and sure enough, tons of stones.

I know my doctor is going to refer me to a surgeon, but I have a confession to make...

I am TERRIFIED of surgery. I don't care if it's a microscopic incision that won't even make a mark, I don't want my body cut. Period.
Somebody could give me a million bucks to get "enhanced" (if you know what I mean) and I wouldn't do it. I think that people who go under the knife voluntarily are CRAZY! But that's another story.

So I decided to try something first, see if I can find a natural way to clear them out. I must thank my fabulous neighbors who are all-knowing in the ways of natural remedies that enlightened me with a way to do a "gallbladder cleanse".

This isn't pretty people. I started it today and I truly think I will hate apples, lemons, and olive oil when I'm done.

Here's the deal:
For 3 days you drink absolutely nothing but unfiltered apple juice and water (but mostly apple juice) and lots of it!
You can eat up to three peeled apples a day for your meals.

That's it, that's your diet for three days, and then...
The night of your third day you make a fancy little mixture of 1/2 cup lemon juice and 1/2 cup olive oil. And drink it all. Yikes!

But I'm going to do it. If it means three days of sacrifice for a life free of gallstones, I'll do it and I'll do it again if I have to.

It seems that the apples and juice are supposed to soften the stones, then the olive oil mixture is supposed to flush them out.

Now I pray and wait and see. This has to work because I am NOT having surgery, I tell you I am not.

Wish me luck...

One Reason I Wanna Do What I Wanna Do

A fabulous advisor in the UVU Legal Studies department put me on to this video. This is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.

When you are spending your time keeping your mind and body creative, involving yourself in good rather than being preoccupied with the bad, you become a better person. You can't help it. If you eliminate the bad and replace it with the good, only good can happen.

This is not to say it is the only thing necessary to rehabilitate these prisoners, they need counseling, therapy and perhaps a good many years locked away from people to recover (if they ever do). However, it can be a beginning of something new and helpful that can channel their minds in a new direction. I truly believe this (or other creative arts) can help them become better people.

Here is a link to their story from ABC news. Most of it is good but there is a comment at the end by Edward Latessa that makes me fume.

Check out their other videos, especially Thriller.

So Grown Up

I'm so proud of my little girl. She has been making grand leaps
in her cognitive abilities.
She is recognizing almost all of her letters and the other
day she drew her first discernible picture.
You may or may not be able to see the picture well enough.
She was drawing with chalk in this fabulous weather on our back patio.
She told me to look and see what she drew.
Balloons..., my dear girl drew balloons and they look the part.

I lover her to pieces.

Happiness

Here we are, finally nearing the end of winter. Now, those who know me know that I have issues with winter. I dread it with every hair on my head. This year I took a different approach. I embraced the change in seasons and I decided I was going to wake up and be glad it snowed (thank heaven for snow tires), be glad I get a break from working in the yard, enjoy sitting inside the sliding glass door soaking in the rays of the sun (when it shines), drink all the hazelnut steamers with whipped cream I could handle, and enjoy the holidays that come with it too.

I have to say that this is the first winter in 7 years that I have actually enjoyed. I have not had one negative thought or feeling about it. I found myself walking to my car after work the other day, freezing to death and thinking to myself, "I am happy."
I also can't remember the last time I was able to think that in all honesty. It felt so good to have that thought and actually believe it!
It's amazing the changes I have made in the way I think, and how it has actually changed the way I view my life. I truly believe that our perspective determines how happy we are and how much we enjoy the life we lead. Now, the path I have taken to get to this point has not been an easy one. I wouldn't sell my blueprint to anyone for a million dollars, but it brought me to the point where I was walking outside in the bitter cold and thought,
"I am happy."

6 Years Ago Today...

Happy anniversary Davey. Unfortunately it's
Super Bowl Sunday which means...

nothing much matters except for the Super Bowl. Go Arizona!
I suppose there's always next year...

Separation Anxiety

My sweet girl has been having the worst case of separation anxiety I've ever seen.
When Davey gets home in the wee hours of the morning, I prepare for a blood curdling scream. Then I wait for her to come running into the bedroom in a panic. She can hear the garage door open and close and she thinks I'm leaving to go to work. She clings onto me for dear life and has to snuggle me the rest of the night. Then when I actually leave for work in the morning, she asks me repeatedly to stay, don't go, don't go.
This makes for a long night for all of us. It's been going on now for about two weeks and I am freaking exhausted. So is she. We are all grumpy and tired. I keep thinking she will just stop one of these nights but it's not happening. I don't want to leave the car out because that means we get to spend the freezing cold morning scraping windows. But, I don't care anymore. The garage cannot be opened. She is so in-tune and waits for it in her sleep but hasn't figured out yet that I'm not going to work in the middle of the night.
Wow, this is making it really hard to go to work these days. It's only for five hours a day but, when my daughter so desperately wants me to stay home it makes me feel a bit on the guilty side. I want to stay with her but, I don't have much of a choice at the moment. I try to console her and tell her I won't be long. It doesn't matter to her.
My sad little girl. We'll see if not opening the garage helps, if not, we are in trouble for who knows how long. We need a good nights sleep...

Open House

Photo courtesy of David Terry

We had the opportunity to go to the Draper Temple open house yesterday. I have to say it is now near the top of my list of favorite temples. It is absolutely beautiful. I love the interior design more than any other temple. It is so clean, classy, and the colors are gorgeous. There is African cherry wood throughout mixed with blue, a little green, and yellow. It isn't overly fancy like most other temples. With the exception of the chandeliers which of course are the most fantastic specimens of light I've ever seen. But, that's necessary. It wouldn't be a temple without amazing chandeliers.

I loved it loved it loved it! My next home must be covered in African cherry. Note to self.

Hobby Ah-la Necklace

I happen to be a fan of little Buddha things (once again no, I am not converting). Some thoughts, ideas, peaceful way of life, the Dalai Lama, and more recently... jewelry. I have looked everywhere for a cute Buddha necklace ( to keep some good karma hanging around, hah!) but, the one I like is HELLO expensive (Dogeared.com).

So, I decided to try to make one myself. I found the makings at good-old Roberts Craft and voila! my very own (much cheaper but not quite as cute) hanging reminder of goodness.

This was really simple but I'm feeling like making my own jewelry might become something I'd like to keep doing. I don't know a dang thing about putting stuff together but hey, I figured this out and I love it!

Great Book

I just finished reading 'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch. Thank you Melissa for recommending it to me, it is a fabulous book.

It's written by a brilliant professor who is dying of pancreatic cancer. He is a great example of optimism and strength even when he is given only 3 to 6 months to live. He is so positive about what is left of his future and the future of his family. I recommend it to anyone who might like a little uplifting in their lives. He is such a good example of someone who is thankful for what he has and is making his life the best that it can be. It's funny, too, because he didn't live his life this way only after he found out he was dying, he has always lived his life to fullest and has done the most he can to fulfill every dream he has ever had.

It's a good reminder to me that we never know when we are going to go. We should live our lives as if tomorrow could be the last day. Live life to the fullest and make the most of it. Even if I know I am going to make it to 99 years old (which I do, ha,ha) I need to be the best person I can be every day. Easier said than done sometimes (believe me I know) but, still. That will be my goal.

So, my point is, this book is great and if anyone is looking for a good short-read I highly suggest you check it out.

In Anticipation...2009

I was going to reflect a bit on the year that was 2008, but...

I have decided to do one of my favorite things, find some inspiration about the present and the future.

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” -Unknown

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” -Buddha

“When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” -John M Richardson, Jr

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” -Buddha

Here's to a fabulous 2009!