Da, Da, Da, Da...Presenting...

... my beautiful little princess.
Merry Christmas

Sweet Prayer

Adelaide says the funniest prayers. Tonight she actually switched it up a little bit. Almost every night she says, "Heavenly Father, thank you mommy, daddy, Captain. Bless our full bellies. Name of Jesus Christ, amen".

Tonight she said, "Heavenly Father, thank you mommy, daddy, save me my life. Thank you Captain, snow. Thank you warm place, warm beds. Name of Jesus Christ, amen".

It's the cutest thing ever to hear what comes out of her little mouth in her cute little voice. She makes me smile.

This Girl...

...got an A in her Statistics for the Behavioral Sciences class! I am extremely proud of myself considering how I have felt over the past few months. I had an amazing teacher who really wanted the class to succeed. I appreciate teachers like that, you know, the ones who actually care about their jobs and the ones who want you to understand what it is they're teaching.

I am so driven now to finish school it's not even funny. It's nice that I am finally taking my major classes but, one class a semester is going to mean ten more years till graduation. Ahh. Oh well, It's nice to be able to go, if one class is what I can take then that is what I will take. I will get there eventually. I'm just glad that I have the opportunity to go to school. I have an incredible drive to move forward, progress, and work toward something. It's a very good/frustrating part of my personality. Frustrating because I am always wanting something new, wanting to accomplish a new goal, and I want to do it now. Good because I always get things done, and I am always working toward bettering myself and family. I am not very good at being content. Not good at all.

So anyway, blah blah, I got an A!
Go me, it's my birthday, go me, it's my birthday!
(not really but it feels like it)

An Interesting Appointment

I went to the doctor yesterday to follow-up on things from my D & C two weeks ago. I have to say that I actually left feeling a little relief. I was anticipating leaving the office in frustration of where to go from here, why, what now, how come, I assumed all of those questions would be left unanswered.

But no, it wasn't good news, but it was news. I was so happy to just have an answer. It made me sure that it was a good thing that this miscarriage happened. Not that that's what I wanted, but under the circumstances it was for the best.

I was informed that it was a partial molar pregnancy. For more information on what it is, click here. It's a lot to explain so you can read it if you're interested.

My doctor didn't think that it was a possibility because it didn't show up on the ultrasound. But because it was only partial, it kind of explains why we didn't see it.

Now I get the privilege of undergoing weekly blood tests until my hormone levels are zero, then monthly blood tests for about three months or so to make sure they stay zero. That means they can be pretty sure there is no tissue growing back.

I was shocked to find out this was the case. I had read about these before but of course, why would it happen to me? And..... it did.

So now, knowing this was the cause I feel some relief. Relief that there was a cause and that it wasn't just more 'bad luck'. We do have more of a chance of this happening in the future, but now my doctors are on full alert and I will have to be monitored closely next time around.

There is a reason for everything, there truly is. Now I just need to continue taking good care of myself and in six months hopefully everything will be in the clear and I can move on for heaven sake!

Love This Song

I am absolutely in love with this song.

So Beautiful

The card did not tell me who these are from.


Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers and the thoughtful note.
It means so much, thank you, thank you, and thank you again.

Re-Post of Thankful

* I felt it only proper, especially in light of recent events, to post this again.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.


I know it's not Thanksgiving yet, but I am feeling the need to express my thanks for the things in my life.
I wish I was a gifted writer so I could truly convey my feelings and have others understand. Well, that just wasn't my gift and I am ok with that. I am THANKFUL for that.
Let me explain:

I have been doing some thinking lately about the events that have taken place in my life. Some wonderful, some not so much. Some so good I could scream with happiness, some so bad I wanted to scream in absolute agony (and I did). I must confess that most of the bad has come from my very own creation. Yep, mine. Me, myself and I. This has transposed into many problems for me in the here and now. I've been dwelling on them a lot lately. It seems that I've developed a case of the shoulda-woulda's. Now, I know very well that shoulda-woulda's do absolutely nothing for the here and now. So I must change this way of thinking. Things are the way they are (period). That is the end of the story. So, what must I do? I must go on with life. Go on with life with a thankful heart. The reason I must go on with a thankful heart is because it makes life easier. It makes it easier and it makes it better.

I had a discussion with a co-worker of mine this past week. We were talking about how powerful our minds are and how they help us heal. She is the one who brought up the fact that we need to be thankful. Thankful for everything. The good and the bad. The good things and the bad things have brought us to where we are today. Those actions and decisions have made us who we are and will continue to mold us into what we will become.

As I've jumped around from blog to blog, discovering joys and tragedies of other people, I've discovered again how thankful I am. Thankful that I have my own joys and my own tragedies and these are my own. My very own. No one elses. And I am thankful for that. How would I deal with anyone else's tragedies!? I couldn't, but I can deal with my own. But, the tragedies of others do help me remember what I am grateful for. Maybe someone else's joy would not be my own if it were mine. So I find joy in what I have. Oh how the grass seems greener sometimes!

Now, it comes down to this.
I am thankful for everything in my life, EVERYTHING!
From the bad days to the good. The sickness to the health. The lessons learned to the ones I have yet to learn. From the lovely summer days to the bitter cold months of depression.
I am thankful for my family and the fact that they stick with me through thick and thin (man I put them through a lot). I am thankful for my constant battle with my body, and my mind.
I am thankful for the questions that run through my mind about religion, education, and politics. I am thankful for the opportunity to go to school, however long it may take me. I am thankful for a home to live in and a car to drive. I am thankful to live in America. I am thankful to wake up each and every morning. I am thankful to be able to walk on my two legs, and use both arms. I am thankful to see, hear, breathe, speak, touch, and smell. I am thankful for my money mistakes and spontaneous purchases that shouldn't have been made. I am thankful for the fact that I can eat, even though my food options are limited. I am thankful for books, good stories, and learning. I am thankful for faith, and the sheer determination to do what's right. I am thankful for good friends. I am thankful for my green thumb. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for our stinky dog. I am thankful for a husband that forgives me and gives me a quadrillion chances. I am thankful for a daughter who loves her mommy. I am thankful for a shower so I can be clean every day. I am thankful for a kind, compassionate, forgiving God. I am thankful for my ability to dance, to do yoga, and ride my bike. I am thankful to live in such a beautiful state. I am thankful for the hair on my head. I am thankful for Math, though I hate it. I am thankful for Jesus Christ. I am thankful for Disneyland. I am thankful for Doctors. I am thankful for alternative healers. I am thankful for my birthday and the fact that I get older and wiser every year. I am thankful for dark chocolate. I am thankful for Adelaide wanting to help me in the kitchen. I am thankful for the President. I am thankful for Oprah and how she makes me glad I'm not her. I am thankful for the sun. I am thankful for blogging. I am thankful for the ocean and the mountains. I am thankful for the one moon in the entire sky and the stars that surround it. I am thankful for music. I am thankful for inspiring quotes that remind me. I am thankful for this life that has been given to me.
I am thankful for this life that has been given to me.

That is it. What it all comes down to. And I'm thankful for everything that comes with it. Because without sorrow there is no joy. Without this life, how would I learn? What could I know? How could I grow? One day I will find out what this is all about. In the meantime, I will be thankful and I will drink in all that comes way. I will love, learn, grow, and simply be..........
thankful.

You Can't Always Get What You Want (you get what you need)

I am hoping that somewhere in the near future I will learn what it is that I need. I feel like I have been put through trial after trial over the past 14 months with not an answer in sight.
I must apologize right now because I am extremely emotional and I need to get this off my chest.
Six weeks ago we went to the doctor and saw a little heartbeat on the monitor. I was seven weeks along. I can't explain the excitement/anxiety I felt over this event. This would be my fifth pregnancy, the three previous pregnancies ending up in miscarriages. But we had so much hope because we never saw a heartbeat with the other miscarriages. Also, this time around I felt really sick, I was exhausted, I could not function. All I wanted to do was sleep. Other good signs because I didn't feel this way with the miscarriages. Two weeks went by, one night I had some bleeding. Great! I was sure we were doomed. 9 weeks and bleeding = not good. We went to the ER and had an ultrasound. But it was good news! They could see a little bleed, but everything was in tact, the baby looked great, placenta, everything good. She explained that sometimes women have unexplained bleeding in the first trimester and we should be fine. I was so relieved, I was sure this was it, I felt so good about it, I knew we were having another baby.

That brings us to today. My belly is already poking out, I have been so positive, I knew we would hear the heartbeat today. And we didn't.

My doctor told me that if my pelvis is tilted a bit that could explain it, but we'll do an ultrasound to make sure all is well. I knew my pelvis wasn't tilted. Everything went so right with Adelaide, we heard her heartbeat at ten weeks. I am smaller now than when I was pregnant with her, I knew we should have heard it.

As soon as the picture came on the screen I could see our little baby, no heartbeat. My heart is shattered to pieces. I can't even describe it. I would be 13 weeks today, she said the baby measured 11 weeks. Two weeks ago, it's little heart stopped beating and we don't know why, and we won't. We can only wonder.

I get to go through my second D & C early next week. Something I am not looking forward to.
All I can say is that I am spent. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I feel completely destroyed and I don't know how many times I can continue to take on this monstrous disappointment.

I had thought about the good news we would get to share today and what I would write and how relieved I would feel, but that was all for not.

Now I wonder, what do I need? Why do I need this? Will I ever know?
I keep telling myself over and over again that everything happens for a reason. Right? Tell me I'm right. I have lived by that, but I feel like a broken record. How many more times is this gonna happen and how many more times can I tell myself it's for a reason and how many more times can I try to convince myself that it's gonna be ok?

I have decided that Adelaide is my little angel baby. I don't know how she came to us so easily, but she came and she is the most wonderful little daughter anyone could have. She has been so sad for us today and she doesn't even know why. She cried because I cried and she kept telling me "it's gonna be ok mamma" all amidst a million hugs. I am so thankful for her every day.

Ahhhhhh, I feel much better, but not enough.
I know things will be fine and things will work out for the best. But I'm just tired. So very, very tired. In the meantime I will continue to to press on, move ahead, and try to discover what it is that I need. More patience, faith, humility, I don't know. I could really use a break though. I could really use a break.

Sunshine

I am in dire need of a little sunshine! It seems like fall has not been with us for very long but, I am already feeling a lack of sun on my skin. I am loving the cooler weather and the fact that I can wear comfy clothes and bake yummy pumpkin things, but, sun please come out tomorrow, just for a minute.
It makes me wish I was still here..............

Who Will be the Actual President?

Which one of these people will be running the country? Yikes!

Please tell me it's not Oprah.

Anyway, I hope the best for our country and

have all the optimism in the world that future President Obama

will do the best he can for America.

Absolutely Beautiful

One of the most amazing stories about Stephanie and Christian is found here. It really reminds you about what matters most.

Am I actually doing a tag?

I never do these, what am I thinking? I love you Rachel.
8 TV shows that I love to watch...

1. Project Runway
2. So You Think You Can Dance
3. House
4. Scrubs
5. Anything Food Network
6. My Name is Earl
7. Family Guy
8. That 70's Show

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Asuka
2. The Fisherman
3. Texas Roadhouse
4. Red Robin
5. Happy Sumo
6. Mad Greek
7. Glorias Little Italy
8. La Dolce Vida

8 Things that happened yesterday

1. Packed up
2. Said goodbye to Jef and Robin and kids
3. Drove 9 and a half hours
4. Stopped at the Mad Greek in Baker
5. Stopped in Vegas for Gas
6. Played MadLibs (my favorite)
7. Tried to sleep in the car
8. Got home and went to sleep as soon as I could


8 Things I am looking forward to

1. Halloween
2. Thanksgiving
3. Christmas
4. Summer
5. Finishing my Stats class
6. Starting a new semester
7. Adelaide
8. Clearing out weeds and my garden before winter

8 things I love about the fall

1. The changing leaves
2. Hot chocolate
3. Baking
4. Warm comfy clothes
5. No yard work for a while
6. The crisp, clean air
7. Picking pumpkins at the Red Barn
8. Sitting on the heater with a blanket wrapped around me

8 things on my wish list

1. I wish I could be done with school
2. I wish I could live in California
3. I wish I could at least vacation there whenever I feel like it
4. I wish I could sleep in
5. I wish I wasn't so tired
6. I wish I had more hours in the day
7. I wish I had a cook to make us dinner
8. I wish Adelaide wouldn't grow so fast

8 people I tag

1. You
2. You
3. You
4. You
5. You
6. You
7. You
8. You
Or anyone that would like to participate. (I dare you to do it)

It's Out

I know I'm a little obsess-much, but I dig these guys more than anything. The Glass Passenger is out and every song is, can I say, AMAZING. No lie, every song. The new video is out as well for The Resolution. It is directed by none other than this vampiress herself. I don't think she's as great of a director as she is story teller, but not horrible for her first shot. The song makes it worth it to me!

• Jack's Mannequin
• New Music

Thankful

I know it's not Thanksgiving yet, but I am feeling the need to express my thanks for the things in my life.
I wish I was a gifted writer so I could truly convey my feelings and have others understand. Well, that just wasn't my gift and I am ok with that. I am THANKFUL for that.
Let me explain:

I have been doing some thinking lately about the events that have taken place in my life. Some wonderful, some not so much. Some so good I could scream with happiness, some so bad I wanted to scream in absolute agony (and I did). I must confess that most of the bad has come from my very own creation. Yep, mine. Me, myself and I. This has transposed into many problems for me in the here and now. I've been dwelling on them a lot lately. It seems that I've developed a case of the shoulda-woulda's. Now, I know very well that shoulda-woulda's do absolutely nothing for the here and now. So I must change this way of thinking. Things are the way they are (period). That is the end of the story. So, what must I do? I must go on with life. Go on with life with a thankful heart. The reason I must go on with a thankful heart is because it makes life easier. It makes it easier and it makes it better.

I had a discussion with a co-worker of mine this past week. We were talking about how powerful our minds are and how they help us heal. She is the one who brought up the fact that we need to be thankful. Thankful for everything. The good and the bad. The good things and the bad things have brought us to where we are today. Those actions and decisions have made us who we are and will continue to mold us into what we will become.

As I've jumped around from blog to blog, discovering joys and tragedies of other people, I've discovered again how thankful I am. Thankful that I have my own joys and my own tragedies and these are my own. My very own. No one elses. And I am thankful for that. How would I deal with anyone else's tragedies!? I couldn't, but I can deal with my own. But, the tragedies of others do help me remember what I am grateful for. Maybe someone else's joy would not be my own if it were mine. So I find joy in what I have. Oh how the grass seems greener sometimes!

Now, it comes down to this.
I am thankful for everything in my life, EVERYTHING!
From the bad days to the good. The sickness to the health. The lessons learned to the ones I have yet to learn. From the lovely summer days to the bitter cold months of depression.
I am thankful for my family and the fact that they stick with me through thick and thin (man I put them through a lot). I am thankful for my constant battle with my body, and my mind.
I am thankful for the questions that run through my mind about religion, education, and politics. I am thankful for the opportunity to go to school, however long it may take me. I am thankful for a home to live in and a car to drive. I am thankful to live in America. I am thankful to wake up each and every morning. I am thankful to be able to walk on my two legs, and use both arms. I am thankful to see, hear, breathe, speak, touch, and smell. I am thankful for my money mistakes and spontaneous purchases that shouldn't have been made. I am thankful for the fact that I can eat, even though my food options are limited. I am thankful for books, good stories, and learning. I am thankful for faith, and the sheer determination to do what's right. I am thankful for good friends. I am thankful for my green thumb. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for our stinky dog. I am thankful for a husband that forgives me and gives me a quadrillion chances. I am thankful for a daughter who loves her mommy. I am thankful for a shower so I can be clean every day. I am thankful for a kind, compassionate, forgiving God. I am thankful for my ability to dance, to do yoga, and ride my bike. I am thankful to live in such a beautiful state. I am thankful for the hair on my head. I am thankful for Math, though I hate it. I am thankful for Jesus Christ. I am thankful for Disneyland. I am thankful for Doctors. I am thankful for alternative healers. I am thankful for my birthday and the fact that I get older and wiser every year. I am thankful for dark chocolate. I am thankful for Adelaide wanting to help me in the kitchen. I am thankful for the President. I am thankful for Oprah and how she makes me glad I'm not her. I am thankful for the sun. I am thankful for blogging. I am thankful for the ocean and the mountains. I am thankful for the one moon in the entire sky and the stars that surround it. I am thankful for music. I am thankful for inspiring quotes that remind me. I am thankful for this life that has been given to me.
I am thankful for this life that has been given to me.

That is it. What it all comes down to. And I'm thankful for everything that comes with it. Because without sorrow there is no joy. Without this life, how would I learn? What could I know? How could I grow? One day I will find out what this is all about. In the meantime, I will be thankful and I will drink in all that comes way. I will love, learn, grow, and simply be..........
thankful.

My Best

My best wishes, prayers, thoughts, etc. go out to yet another family in dire need of support.

Looking Forward

I am looking forward to the day that People in this world no longer care about what celebrities think.

I am looking forward to the day that celebrities no longer think that people care about what they think.

I am looking forward to the day that celebrities realize that they are not credible critics in the world of politics. (ahem...... Lindsay Lohan, Oprah Winfrey, and many, many more)

I am looking forward to the day that celebrities realize they don't have to bash conservatives, and they don't have to bash liberals. Does any of this bashing really matter? Especially coming from a celebrity? No.

I am looking forward to the day that people can think and be who they want to be, regardless of anything else, or anyone else. Especially Hollywood.

I am looking forward to the day that the President (whomever it may be) takes all of the celebrities who think they know so much, ties them all up, puts them in a securely locked bomb shelter, never to be heard from again.

I think that the media could join them for the most part. You know, the ones who broadcast all of the crap the celebrities say.

Yeah, they can be locked up too.

A Beautiful Day for a Funeral

I'm not being biased just because he's my grandpa,
I'm only saying it because it's true.
If there is such a thing as a wonderful, inspiring funeral,
it was the one held in behalf of my dear grandfather today.

I don't think there was one person there today that left
without a desire to become a better person.
As my grandmother was speaking today,
she said something that will stand out in my mind forever.....

Don't be sad because he's gone, be happy because he was here.

There is so much truth to that.
So often I dwell on the fact that he isn't here anymore.
When really, I am the luckiest person in the world to be his
grand-daughter,
and lucky to have known him for 28 years.

There are so many things I will miss,
but I have gained wonderful memories
that will stay with me forever.
Picking raspberries in the garden, working on his cars,
fishing, doing taxes in the family room,

eating fresh sliced tomatoes,
hearing him say "how's my Meggie-Meg",
mowing the lawn, pruning the trees,

seeing him at my softball games and dance performances,

riding with him to school at Weber State as
he taught Economics and I began my college years,
watching tv in his lay-z-boy, working in the green house,
celebrating birthdays on the deck, the biggest-brightest smile,
rolling his eyes when grandma told him to
comb his hair and change his clothes,
handing me the keys to my first car he fixed just for me,
ice cream runs to Country Boy Dairy,
three hand squeezes meaning 'I love you',
seeing how much he loves little Adelaide,
and last but not least, pure and absolute unconditional love.

All of the grandchildren released a balloon in his honor.
My grandmother received the flag that was laid on his casket
in his honor of serving his country in Korea.
We reminisced about wonderful times with
family we haven't seen in years. We celebrated the life of a most
wonderful, patient, loving, giving, and thoughtful man.
As a note, I have never seen so many people at a viewing before.
There were approximately 400 people that came by
Sunday night alone. He was loved by all and he will
be dearly missed, but dearly remembered.

I love you more than you can know gramps.
You are my sunshine.........

Elden Elmer Liechty 1928-2008

My grandpa passed away very early this morning. He has struggled with cancer for over ten years.
He has finally been released from this physical struggle.
He is such a wonderful person and has been
such a help and example to me in my life.
He has always been there for my family and such a loving grandfather.
He has always stressed to me the importance of getting an education.
I was able to see him for the last time on Sunday evening and I was able to tell him that I am still moving along in school and about my class I have this semester.
He was so proud, I could see it on his face.
He loves little Adelaide, she was his little girl.

I love you grandpa and will miss you terribly.
Thank you for all that you have done for me in my life, again.
I can't thank you enough.

Until we meet again..............

Love Fills the Sky

We attended the balloon release for Stephanie and Christian this evening. It was amazing. I have been brought to tears many times this week because of this tragedy. It breaks my heart that people have to suffer like this in life. I cannot comprehend nor do I have the desire to comprehend how their family feels at this time. There was a lot of support there tonight and I felt so much love among everyone as we gathered to release the balloons. I pray that they may get through the tough days, weeks, and months ahead with peace and comfort.
Godspeed.




Get well soon you two.

A Button

If you would like to donate to help Christian and Stephanie here is a button. They will be in the hospital for quite a long time. You can also read more about what happened with updates via Courtney's blog here.

All of my Love

My friend Courtney's sister and her husband were in a terrible plane crash Saturday night.
You have all of my love and I pray for the best.

The Wait is Over (Almost)

I am not going to do a Stephenie Meyer post because frankly,
I haven't read the book yet.

I will join my friends later to discuss details when
I finally get a minute to read it.

Meanwhile............

My wait is (almost) over for new Jack's Mannequin music. Their new EP came out this week, The Ghost Overground. There are two new songs on it and they are amazing! I can't wait for the rest of the new album to come out next month.

CHECK IT OUT!

To the Mature and Beautiful 28 Year Old

Happy birthday to me!

Yes, I have accepted the fact that I am getting older and I love it! I think my looks are improving and I am certainly more wise.

What else can a girl ask for?

So Excellent

I finally finished this book today and I'm kind of sad about it. I don't want to write a review or anything but, I do recommend it to one and all. I now want to sell everything and move away to three fabulous locations for one year. Especially Italy, but I envy her experience in India most of all. Bali sounds beautiful and romantic, I guess I would love to visit all three. There were a few experiences that she had that really opened my eyes and made me think, one of which I wrote about in an earlier post. So, if you haven't read it, read it. Even if you're a man, I think you should read it.
But you don't have to take my word for it..................

Thoughts (Part Deux)

I came upon a section in Eat Pray Love that was meant for me to read. Do you ever do that? Read something and know it was written especially for you to read at the exact time you needed it?

I used to pride myself on the fact that people would tell me how positive I was, so fun-loving, what a great outlook on life I had, that nothing could get me down. Well, that was a long time ago. I am not that person anymore............and I HATE it. I remember how I felt, I remember how I thought, but, what I don't remember is how I lost it or how to get it back. What happened that changed me? It has been such a slow process that I wouldn't even be able to put my finger on it. This might sound really egotistical and big-headed, but I was one of the coolest girls I knew. If I wasn't me, I would want to be my friend. I loved everything and everyone. I loved to be included and I liked to include others. It made for really fun times with a lot of really fun people.

That being said, I am on a quest. A quest to find me again. A quest to get all of the negative crap out of my head. A quest to re-discover that life is great, yet it's only as great as I let it be. A quest to become the best person I can be and as the years go by, keep on getting better.

WARNING: This is a beyond-long post. You can stop now if you like. Although you are certainly welcome to continue.

........... an excerpt of what I read.
(This is Elizabeth Gilbert writing about her own self discovery)

"You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ship of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts--all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways--you may not come here anymore, either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind--otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came.
That is my mission, and it will never end."

Her mission has become mine. Unless I want to continue on the path I have been treading (which I don't) I need to take action. Now. My brain needs a permanent respite.

One Of My Favorites

Here is one of my favorite pictures that Erica took.

Once again, you did an awesome job!


Ok, maybe one more.

Fab-U-Lous

I've been meaning to post this. These guys rocked this dance. I can't stop watching it, so here, enjoy.

Thoughts

Thoughts that crowd my every space
Creeping in they've found their place
Nestled in they've sealed their doom
So pungently it fills the room

Never to escape from this
Reality ceases to truly exist
Life it seems won't let it be
While through my eyes I clearly see

The clock it continues ticking on
As heartache sings a joyless song
The sun it shines penetrating so deep
Beckoning my soul from this restless sleep

Pre-What?

I received news this week that I am pre-diabetic. What the?!! I had a mirage of questions running through my mind when the doctor gave me this news. I never thought in a million years I could be a candidate for this. Here are my reasons:

* I am not overweight

*I eat quite healthy

*I exercise regularly

The only thing I don't know is if it could be genetic. It makes it pretty hard when your mom is adopted with virtually no knowledge of medical history, and I have no information from the person who donated his sperm that helped create me. Where does this leave me? Discovering everything for myself, which is kind of scary.

FYI's sake - Pre-diabetes is the stepping stone to diabetes, if you don't control it, you will develop Type 2. My glucose and insulin levels are high, but not quite high enough to be diagnosed as Type 2. So, I must bring those down as not to wear out my poor pancreas.

I hate pills, with a passion. If I can get away with not taking something I will do whatever it takes not to. Now I take pills every day and I have to count my carbs. I hate counting carbs! I'm on a forced diet, I don't believe in diets! But..............I must say that I don't think this will be too difficult of a lifestyle change to make. I already workout, I am not overweight, I just need to be more careful with what I eat and remember to take my pills.

The one thing that perplexes me: What could have caused this? Everything I've been reading has pointed to genetics mixed with a sedentary lifestyle and poor diet. This is not me! There must have been something else that could have triggered this, but what? There aren't really any other explanations.

Since this is my "inspired day" I must write something positive. I really do see something positive in all of this. This could be the explanation for a number of things that have been not quite right with me. I won't go into it, I've been kind of a mess really. I've discovered that this can cause fatigue, emotional issues, headaches, miscarriages, and even worse, loss of sight, limbs, and can cause a heart attack and stroke. Finding this now should mean a longer, more healthy future for me.

On with life I go, taking better care of myself and praying that they can one day find a cure for this disease. I used to think that people brought this on themselves (for the most part). Now I've been properly put in my place. Thank you.

I Love This Girl

Not Much

I can't believe it has been so long since I've updated. Where does the time go? I've been reading a book called Dance As A Healing Art searching for inspiration to write my admissions essay. It talks about how movement effects our mental state of health and how we can help heal ourselves mentally and physically. Very good book if you're into that kind of thing. I know I am.

I'm patiently waiting for summer to arrive. I don't feel like we are there yet. 3 warm days out of the last 30 does not count for me. I guess now that I work during the day I don't get to play as much either. That's going to be an adjustment from last year. Hopefully this weekend will prove me wrong about summer. I am in need of warm, warm sunshine!

I do get to cook on the new grill that has made it's home on our back patio. I love grilled food in the summer. And watermelon, oh I love watermelon. Did I mention ice cream? Oh I love ice cream.

I bought a new book to put in my summer line-up. Gift Of The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. I believe it's the book the quote in my last post comes from. I am anxious to read it, but I have two ahead of it so I must be patient. Patience is not my virtue, it's something I'm trying really hard to acquire.

There is a quote in my therapist's office that I love. I shall share it now....


My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.

-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Motivaional Speaker

So, I like my job. Not what I want to do forever, but I like it. This week is Summer University where all of the staff and faculty get together and attend mini seminars and conferences for the week. So far it has been a wonderful little break from the usual daily routine. I wasn't too stoked for the first event of the morning. It was a motivational speaker. I have not had good experiences with motivational speakers in the past. One word, BORING explains it the best. I had yet to experience a truly motivating motivational speaker. I'd rather read my motivation in a book thank you.

Well, today my opinion has changed about all of those speakers. I had quite an amazing experience with Keith Harrell this morning. He has the best attitude out of anyone I've ever met. It was absolutely contagious. As usual, everything he had to say was obvious and common sense, but the way he talked about making improvements in your life really made me want to do it too!

He gave us a nice little shpeel about worry. There were 3 things he said that I really liked.

1. Worry is nothing but a negative form of meditation.

2. 40% of your worries have already happened. 30% never will.

3. As long as you can look up, you can get up.

Where Have I been?

I feel like I haven't had a free minute to do much of anything lately. I don't even think I can remember what it is I've done, but it's definitely something. I know it's a mix of work, appointments to get into my major at school, helping some people out, being a mom, etc. But it's good. I love to be busy. I feel like I accomplish a lot when I'm busy, even if I can't remember what it is I've done. On the other hand, it's nice to chillax and take time to read some of my favorite blogs, try and finish my book, bake something delicious, you know, things like that.

While I was chillaxing just a minute ago, I was in the middle of reading the blog of my long lost, across the country sister-in-law. Her grandpa just passed away and her post broke my heart. She wrote about some of her memories and how much she will miss him. I hope you and your family are doing well B.

I was speaking with my grandma (on my moms side) earlier today and she was filling me in on how my grandpa was doing these days. He has not been doing very well the past couple of years. He has struggled with prostate cancer which has continued to spread slowly for the last who knows how many years. It's been so long now I can't even remember. In the past two years or so he has been on a slow but incredibly painful decline. He is now on hospice and has had so many additional illnesses on top of the cancer that have wasted his body away.
We have always been so close and he has always been my number one supporter. I know his time is drawing near and after reading my sister-in-laws post, I know it will come faster than I approve of. I pray for his body to be relieved from the pain it is going through, but can't help but selfishly want him to stick around a little longer for me.

I try not to dwell on it, but the line 'time goes by so fast, cherish every moment' goes through my mind daily. I am so thankful for the time I have with the members of my family. I love them dearly and wish that time could go by half as fast. At least. There is nothing more important in this world than the ones you love.
Cherish every moment....

Auf Wiedersehen News

As of today, I am finally boycotting the news. I did this once before and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I started watching it again because I have an addiction to the weather. I love to watch the weather. The sneaky media loves to tease and taunt you by only doing pieces of it until the end of the broadcast, then they show you the 7 day forecast. They know people like me will stop watching as soon as the forecast is over. Do they have us figured out or what?

I always get the most awful feeling when I watch the news. I would have to say that 95% of it is comprised of bad, horrible things. Stuff that usually makes me pretty emotional. I turn it off at the end of the night and feel like crap. So why do I keep watching? Oh yeah, the weather. Freaking weather.

Then it hit me, I can eliminate those terrible feelings by not watching the news. What an epiphany! I remembered that there is this amazing thing we have these days called the internet. There is even a little widget on the desktop of the computer with the forecast. Or, I can even check Fox's website and go straight to the weather. Amazing.

So, from this day on, I officially declare myself news free. Free of awful, nasty feelings that do not need to be felt. I am banishing it from my life and hopefully banishing all of the extra crap that does not need to be known or felt by me. Let it be known, I am free.

What To Be When I Grow Up

I'm pretty sure I've finally decided on what I want to do when I grow up. It's taken me ten years after graduating from high school to figure it out, but hey, what the heck. The counselor I spoke with after taking the Myers Briggs test inspired me to really go after what I love and just do it. Up until this point I've never felt completely right about choices I made for possible career paths. I started thinking about the things I really enjoy and the things that intrigue me. I started searching online and came upon the ADTA website. As I've been delving deeper into my brain and it's psychological processes, I've been more interested in the field of psychology. The only thing is that I don't want to be a psychologist. I've always been in love with dance and other types of movement such as yoga, but I don't want to go to school for strictly modern or ballet which are pretty much the only degrees offered in dance. I guess I don't want to be limited to one area, I'd like to be free to express what I want, and help others at the same time.

I discovered dance/movement therapy. I am so excited about this discovery. I don't know why I haven't thought about it before, it completely makes sense to me. I'm going to matriculate into the Integrated Studies program and study the connections between dance/movement and psychology. I think it will be amazing and I'm totally psyched about it. Do people still say psyched? Well, I do now. Bring it back people.

Sweet Motivation

I came upon this site via Design Mom which means almost everyone has probably already seen them, but just in case........................

© 2007 Frederic Terral

They are some of the coolest motivational posters I've ever seen. Very inspired art I say.
Click here to see the rest. I want to fill my house with almost every one.

Strength

I am truly amazed at the strength we humans possess. How many days, hours, minutes are we pushed to our limits, yet we persevere? Too many, but we keep going and grow stronger every time. It is always the moment I feel like I can't take anymore that I realize I can. I've come this far, so why not continue and see what happens? Things can only get better right? That's what I tell myself and I absolutely refuse to lie to myself anymore so it must be true.

If I could only figure out why every time I think I have it all figured out, I realize I don't. That must be the riddle of life. To figure it out to not have it figured out after all. Make sense? Of course not. What does? Out of the 1 million things I have done in my life, I think only about 5 of them have turned out the way I wanted. Those odds suck! Probably because I didn't know what I wanted until I had already made all of those choices. As I lay these thoughts out, I pray that others in this world do not go through the same things as I, or anything like it. That would mean that people are not as well put together and happy as I think they are. Then what would I have to aspire to, to have as an example?

So, when I think about these things, that's when I remember. I remember that I am strong and I can take on anything I have to. I don't believe there is anything that comes to us that we can't handle. I think the key is remembering that in the hardest of times. I imagine myself being an old woman, sitting in my comfy recliner with a constant grin on my face. That's when I will be content because I will know that I have it all figured out. I've been there done that and I'll know that the hard times are behind me. Too good to be true? Probably, but here's hoping.

A Test

I took the Myers-Briggs Type test today for the first time. I feel like I'm the last one in this world to know about it, but maybe not. It's a personality type test to help a person figure out what they might be best at (profession wise) in this life. I didn't know quite what to expect, but I must say that I am totally impressed. It had me pinned down to a T.

I didn't initiate this test on my own, my manager asked me to take it because we are going to a Myers-Briggs conference tomorrow. She thought it would be a good idea to take it so we had a fresh understanding of it before the conference. After taking the test, I feel like I was supposed to take it now, just for me.

I probably wouldn't have ever taken this on my own because I wouldn't have thought about it. But, it's probably one of the most helpful, and personally insightful things I've ever done. I think it goes along well with my journey of self-discovery. Along with therapy and now this test, it has opened up my eyes so much to what kind of person I am and what I can become. At least for the moment. I sat with a counselor for over an hour going over what every part of the test meant, according to my life and personality. It was really quite insightful actually.

He made me realize that we should take our passions and the things we really love, and go for them. Like I've said before, we are the only ones that hold ourselves back and I truly believe that. I thought about all of the things I've wanted to do and why I haven't done them. All because I told myself I couldn't for one reason or another. All of the excuses I've given myself have been lame and absurd really. There is no reason I cannot do what I want to and that's that.

So my point is......if you haven't taken it before I highly recommend it. It's kind of amazing how much you can learn about you!

What Is Normal?

That is a question I have been pondering a lot lately. What constitutes a person being "normal"?

I've been thinking about this so much because my brain doctor has been comparing me to that word a lot lately. I've been seeing him for a few months now and the insight and observations I've been given have helped me tremendously. It's amazing how someone who is not you, and who is not close to you, can see so much by being completely objective as to just the facts of your life and events that ensue.

Well, two weeks ago he dropped a bomb on me that I was not prepared for. It was one of those 'that could never be me' moments. But, as I've been thinking about it, it is totally me. Looking back on the eight years of my life that I've felt this way, I can see and know that what he told me is true. When I outline my life and lay it out in front of me, I can see a nasty pattern, and it continues to repeat itself without my complete awareness. On a scale from one to bad, I'm in the middle so it could be worse. That always makes a girl (me) feel better. What's funny is that as time goes on and I continue to live, if I don't make some changes, I will forever feel this way that I feel. What's also funny is that this whole time, I thought that this is just life and that's the way life is. My perception of reality was and is completely askew. But, for me this is normal, this is life, my life, and I've never known anything different.

So again I ask, what is normal? If things have never been any other way and you don't know any different, isn't that normal? People are all so different, who's to say what's messed up and what's not. For all I know everyone has some form of disorder that makes them unique. We just don't know what disorder it is. We all have to deal with the cards we were dealt, whether we want to or not. You are the only one that can make your life your own and learn to live it the best way you can and you do that with what you have. If you have some mental issues, physical issues, or issues you don't even know about, you take what you have and you make life the best it can be.

My doc asked if I wanted to hear what his prediction of my life would be at age 50 if I didn't set some things straight. I told him to go for it and what I heard scared the crap out of me. It wasn't because I though his prediction would come true because that's what he thought, it was because I could actually see and know that what he said was right. I could see it and I did not like what I saw.

Now I'm on a quest to learn to harness my energy in the most positive ways possible. Learn how to be "normal" so I can have a decent, hopefully long life. Why does everything have to be such a fight?!! I don't know, but nothing good ever came out of giving up. At least that's what I've heard.

As my good friend Dag Hammarskjold once said (or maybe twice, who knows):
Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat is possible - not to have run away.

A Good Laugh

I've been craving a good laugh lately and the
SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skits always do the trick.
There's nobody like Will Ferrell (and Sean Connery too)!

Just Words

I really don't have a point to anything I have to say today. I just feel like writing I suppose.
Maybe I will start with my job. I am still loving it, but it's hard to adjust to my new schedule. Before I started working I would go to the 9:15 a.m. yoga classes, but now that I work at that time I have to get my butt up at five to get ready and make it to the 6 a.m. class, then go straight to work. Now I'm not complaining because I'm glad I still get to go (sometimes it's my sanity), but it has been hard! I'm not a morning person, well, at least not that early of a morning person.

So then I think about how nice it will be to sleep in (a little bit) the rest of the week. Not likely. Now I have to schedule my Dr. appointments at 7am. Once again, wake up at five. Then, Adelaide decides to wake up at 4:45 this morning because she's gagging on the phlegm in her throat from her cold and it makes her throw up. I have to admit that she is the most adorable, cuddly thing in the world when she is sick. She happens to love me the most when she doesn't feel well, so needless to say, I am the one she wanted when she woke up this morning and wouldn't let me out of her sight. It's been a long day and now I have a sore throat.

On the brighter side, I enjoy making some extra cash and it's nice to meet new people and have some adult conversation during the day.

I'm stoked that it's getting warmer and I can go out in the afternoon without a jacket. I LOVE spring! I am excited to get out in the yard and plant some things. I seriously love the smell of dirt and being out in the fresh air. It will be nice to be able to send Adelaide out to play instead of having her cramped indoors wanting to watch movies all day.

I think I will make homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight. I have been craving it lately. Then I think I will retire early this evening into my comfy sheets and see if I can cash in on eight hours of sleep tonight. That would be nice.

Live Music

I love nothing more than going to a good concert. I had the privilege of attending one last night with my friends Rach and Jenne. It was so much fun! Lifehouse and Matt Nathanson were amazing. I hadn't listened to much Matt Nathanson before, but I am now converted. He was awesome live and his lyrics are lovely. Lifehouse and I go back, way back. About seven and a half years I think. They pretty much rocked. As you can see, I like to pump my fists in the air and scream really loud. Rachel thinks it's pretty funny, so I do it over and over again. It makes me feel young again. How does something such as that make me feel young again when I am still young? I don't know, but it does. Anyway, music makes me happy, and music makes me feel. I LOVE to feel. Lifehouse is good at that.

Addie Did It!

My cute girl is growing up so fast. It makes me sad that her teeny tiny days are behind us (even though she is still a little thing). My favorite thing to hear every day now is when she says, "Addie did it!" She says that every time she gets excited about something she did. Right now it's because she is becoming a master at the potty. Every time she goes successfully (which is every time since Monday), she yells, "Addie did it!" I love to see how excited she gets over her little triumphs, well, I guess learning to release everything into the potty is quite big actually. I was scared to death if I remember correctly. She jumps up and down and asks for a blue, red, or pink 'pop', which is a popsicle to you and I. That is her potty treat. It makes me laugh how she only says the first half of every word. I especially love that she still calls me May because she refuses to say mom.

I'm sad because she will soon be moving to a bed instead of her crib. She is so much more like a little girl now, not so much a baby. It's exciting to see her reach all of these new milestones and learn new things. If only she would slow it down a little bit...................

I love this picture of her because that little horse she is riding was mine when I was little. When I look at her, I see me. It seems like I was just that big myself. It reminds me that time goes by quickly and soon I'll be looking at a picture of her wearing some rubbish I wore in high school (heaven forbid).

To my little love and all the joy you bring to me.

Just Be

Something that stood out to me while I was reading today:

There is not a need to prove anything to anyone with your words. Let that which you are - that which you are living - be your clear example to uplift others.

Job update

Just so you know. I got the job.

My interview was at 1 o'clock. I received a call at exactly 4:23 p.m. with the offer.

Oh I forgot, it's at UVSC.

Go me!

Nothin' Like It

There's nothing like having a job interview last week and getting it, but having to turn it down.
There's nothing like a job interview today that might actually work out, and know you're probably going to get it. If I don't get it, you won't hear about it on here. How embarrassing is that?

I heard words like:

Most promising,
Look professional,
Good experience,
Fun but dependable,

Things like that.

The office manager even chased after me so the head of the department (who was not able to be in the interview at that time) could speak with me before I left.

They knew how to make a girl feel good. Now we'll see if they will continue to do so and offer me the job!

Chocolate Anyone?

As some know, I am a chocoholic. I found the most delicious, richest, darkest, chocolate cake recipe ever. Thanks to Just Recipes, I found one of the best recipes I have ever made........... the flourless chocolate cake. It was sooooo good I can't even describe how fabulous it really was. It made me incredibly happy for about 4 days. I would find myself being very rude and inconsiderate if I kept it to myself so I linked to it for your pleasure. Oh the pleasure!

Valentine's Day

I was reading about Valentine's Day on Wikipedia today and found this morsel of information:

In Saudi Arabia in 2008, religious police banned the sale of all Valentine's Day items, telling shop workers to remove any red items, as the day is considered an un-Islamic holiday. This ban created a black market of roses and wrapping paper.

Doesn't that just scream love? It's little things like this that make me grateful to be an American!

Positive Change

I came across this sentence while reading my book today:

"In order to effect true positive change in your experience, you must disregard how things are--as well as how others are seeing you--and give more of your attention to the way you prefer things to be."

It reminds me of that saying, Be the change you wish to see in the world. You need to actually see things changing and act upon it. By looking at things how they are now and not actually doing anything about it, how can we expect anything to change and look differently in the future?

Work Harder

I can do this.

Now I'm working on this.

Not with the crazy legs, just straight ones for now.
I'm not pushing myself hard enough to finally get it,
so maybe this will help.
If I post my current goal I might accomplish it more quickly.
That's because I know I will want to post a new one soon,
so get on it Megan!

A Vacation

I am in need of someplace warm and beachy. I am about ready to snap from all of the snow and cold we have been receiving.
Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for the abundance of water that has buried us lately. I know we need it, but even then I gave the weatherman a condition; no mention of the D-word this summer. The D-word is drought. I better not here it one time, or else...........

As I sit here, I look out my sliding glass door and picture everything opposite of what is reality.
I am sitting on the beach in southern California, the smell of salt in the air, stupid Seagulls flying all around, the warm sun shining on my bathing suited body, the sound of waves crashing on the shore, the feel of sand stuck to the bottom of my feet, peace and pure heaven.

Calgon take me away!

P.S. If anyone would like to offer me a job down there, I would be happy to oblige. Don't hesitate to ask. We could be down there lickity-split!

Vote

(So I couldn't figure out how to flip the image, but I voted!)

Go vote!

Rest

I am no good at napping. I have the hardest time sleeping during the day with my mind running a race against all of the things that need to be done.
I've been trying really hard this week. I don't know what's up with me lately, maybe it's the lack of sun. Maybe my body requires more sun and vitamin D than most. I crave it. So I am exhausted. I don't know why. I've been a little busier this week than usual but not too much. I can barely keep my eyes open in the afternoon.
I tried to nap this afternoon with the sun shining through the sliding glass doors. FINALLY, a little natural warmth. I laid there with a blanket and my huge body pillow and basked in the wonderful goodness we call the sun. Yet, no sleep followed. What's a girl to do?
I suppose I will pray for a few consecutive sunny days, then perhaps it will bring me back to life.

A Little Political

I'm gonna get a tad bit political on your behinds. I was reading Enjoy It this morning and felt positively reassured by most people who commented on the post.
I am not a McCain supporter for sure, not necessarily a Mitt supporter either. But, if I had to vote republican, which I don't have to, I would choose Mitt. And I would not choose him based on his religious beliefs. I think he's the best out of the two. McCain doesn't have the voice to get the attention of the American people (seriously, have you heard his voice?).

Then it comes down to the Democrats. Who really wants another Clinton in office? Not I! I think Obama is driven, firm, and has the voice (you know what I'm saying).
I don't know who I will vote for, but I was pleased to read that there were no cheers about the Florida results coming from the commenters of Enjoy It.

I like the fact that there are people that don't have to go completely Republican, just because the person is a Republican. The best man should win! Regardless of his party.

Training The Brain

Yesterday I watched a movie called What The $%*! Do We Know. I would say that the last twenty minutes of the hour and a half long show were definitely worth while.

Up until this point in my life I have not been much of a thinker. I've taken everything with face value and lived life according to how I thought I should live it. Not necessarily how I wanted to.

I would categorize this movie with similar films such as The Secret. You know, completely obvious things and ideas that people take for granted or choose not to think about. Yet, they are things that we should be doing everyday like thinking, acting, and living positively.

This movie focuses on, well I'll just say it, Quantum Physics. Most laugh at the subject, but there is so much truth to it it's not even funny. I don't think I'll ever really understand the whole aspect of it, but I was surprised to see how much I did understand.

It talks a lot about training our minds to think in new ways. How our perception of reality might not be reality at all. How much of our sadness and confusion is due to addictions that we need to overcome.

Our mind is so much more powerful than we think. I've never really thought about it myself until I watched this show, but it's true. There have been so many instances where I have thought away a headache. There was even a time I thought away a wart I had on my finger. Believe it or not people, I did!

Anyway, if you choose to watch it or not, know some of it I don't agree with, but a lot of it I did. If anything, it's been a mind opening experience for me and full of things I hadn't thought of before. It's quite liberating actually to see things from another point of view.

President Hinkley (1910 - 2008)

One of the most loving, caring, inspirational leaders.
We will miss you.

Finding Meaning

Back to my book of wonderful inspiration, I cam upon this sentence:

"A tree with strong roots can withstand the most violent storm, but the tree can't grow roots just as the storm appears on the horizon."

It seems that I find myself trying to find myself and other meaning in my life when I am in the depths of despair. Why does it take until we have hit rock bottom to finally look up and see the light? I seem to be the tree that tries to grow it's roots as the storm is starting to appear. By this time everything has become more difficult and it takes much more effort to rebound and pick yourself back up again. My stinkin' weak roots. The Dalai Lama talks a lot about finding meaning in our times of happiness as well as sorrow. We should be searching and becoming stronger at all times, not just the sad ones.

So I made a goal. I made a goal to try and face the small challenges as they come (usually daily) instead of putting them aside like they don't matter. That is what I tend to do. Then everything tends to build up and become a mess of a problem. A huge storm if you will. I imagine that's similar to growing a strong root system. Just a little at a time, then when something large does arise, you are strong enough to hold your ground.

I think one of the easiest ways for me to face things is to just let life happen. I have such ideologies in my head of how things should be, where I got them I don't know. But the way I think things should be are not necessarily how they actually are. Thank you Hollywood, the media, you know who you are.

Let life happen, work on things daily, become a strong, happy tree. That is going to be me.

Yes, I Said Therapy

Today, ladies and gentlemen, was my first ever therapy appointment. As I was leaving the office I asked myself one question:

Why didn't I go sooner?!

I think this is going to be one of the most fabulous experiences I will ever have.
Here are the reasons:

* I think I've found a fabulous doctor. I already feel like I can spill my guts with ease.
* It felt good being able to tell my story, share my feelings, with no bias whatsoever.
* Dr Edgington is his name, and he seemed truly eager and anxious to help me out.
* From what he knew as of today, he had insight and thoughts that were helpful to me.

Maybe I will stay in therapy the rest of my life. I feel like there can be nothing better than trying to help and improve oneself. I have a friend who was in therapy for 12 years and is one of the most down to earth, insightful, intelligent people I know.
Maybe that can be me!

No more stewing and crazy thoughts in my head trying to figure things out on my own. I am so excited!

A Peculiar People

I had a fabulous conversation tonight with my good friend Courtizzle. I love talking to this woman. We see eye to eye on so many things, it's amazing. I came home from her place tonight with a refreshed and nurtured brain.
We talked about the regular womanly things, but there was one thing that really hit home and made me think:

Women need other women.

After we came to this conclusion, I thought about other conversations I've had with my good female friends and how I've never had conversations like that with my husband. Now why is that? I thought about the times I've tried to have those kind of conversations with my husband and how it never ever works out. If any ladies out there have that in their husband, you lucked out. But, for the majority of us out there, we turn to our sisters from a different mother.
We really do need each other. For conversation, for comfort, for empathy, sympathy, joy, pain, everything. It is a full emotional release, and I'm thankful for it.

I believe it's a blessing and gift that we have to help each other. I know that without it, I would probably be a complete mess. I am not good at keeping things bottled up, and I think it's that way with a lot of women. We need a chance to get things out. At least for me, it helps me clear my mind, organize my thoughts, and put things in perspective.

Sometimes it's hard being a woman, but I'm thankful for the ability we have to love and support each other when we need it most.

Friends

I'm thankful for friends who invite us over for parties and a night of Rock Band. It's nice to have fun and forget about everything else.

Thanks guys!

Finally Idol

I am completely stoked that Idol is back! I love this show and I can't help it. I would like to give those people props who get the guts to audition. I could never do it! Mostly because I know I can't sing a lick, but also because I get so freaked out in those situations.

I would especially like to commend those who aren't good at all, but think they are. Seriously. These are the people that give me hope. They stand in front of the judges knowing full well who and how they are and sing with all of their might. They know in their hearts that they are amazing, but for some reason others just don't see it. They leave completely shattered, bawling, and swearing at the camera. It breaks my heart for them, it really does.

On the other hand, I wish I was as sure of myself sometimes as they are of themselves all of the time. I think it's a good quality to have. You might get disappointed once in a while, but you never wonder what if, or experience the coulda shoulda's. You would go for everything you ever wanted! I think that rocks.

Pamper Me Please!

I have been contemplating getting my brows tattooed for many a year. As most know, I am lacking in the eyebrow department. I have been powdering them in now for as long as I can remember. I was talking to my good friend Rachel, and she informed me that her friend and my acquaintance Jenne does permanent makeup. Rachel is currently going to school to be an esthetician which is a double bonus. This is a double bonus because Rachel is working under Jenne to get her esthetician license, which means........ I would go for a free brow consult and then have Rachel pamper me with a facial. I went today and it was fabulous!

I discovered that as soon as I come up with the money I am getting my eyebrows mostly permanently put on my face. I can't wait! My morning routine time will be cut in half, seriously.

Then I discovered as Rachel was cleansing my skin (and she does an awesome job), that I need to pamper myself a little more often. It was so nice and relaxing. My skin feels so nice, I don't remember the last time it felt so good. Never, I think. It boosts the spirit to know you are taking care of yourself and looking good in the process!

FYI Forum Salon
215 S 400 E
SLC
801-355-0968

Silence

My most peaceful time of day is at the end of yoga when we do our pranayama breathing meditation and shavasana. The reason for this is because the rest of my day is full of 2 year old and if it's a day like today, it's full of 2 year old that doesn't take a nap.

As I get older, I realize why people older than I (much older) like quiet. I still love music and being crazy loud sometimes, but other times it's nice to be left alone to my own thoughts.
While practicing my 3 times weekly meditation, I have discovered it is extremely hard to clear my head and not think about anything at all. I try so hard sometimes, but as expected, a thought will pop in my head and then I'm ruined. As some might know or not know, during shavasana or corps pose, you lay there unmoving, keeping your mind free from thought. It's harder than it sounds. My mind is constantly going from one thought to another during the 5 to 10 minute rest.

Long story short, as I work at clearing my mind, I find more peace and less worry. Regardless of what is going on my life. I think it's important and very helpful for me to calm my mind and have a little bit of quiet.

As a reminder to myself of how I feel now (everything always changes and I don't want to forget), it is important to take time to rest not only our body, but our mind as well. Even if it's only a few minutes a day. I feel so much less stress in life because of it. It's fabulous!